Banana Bread and Divorce (Recipe Included)

I am recently divorced. I often think of the things I miss. The being married part, my ex-husband's quirky ways, his sense of humor, his ability to fix anything with a hammer and nails, and his smile. There are also a lot of smaller things I miss as well. The couch, the Rachael Ray pots and pans he got as a bonus one year from his boss, the long red curtains and a certain cook book.

My mother in law is an excellent cook. She isn't one of those pinch of this and smidgen of that bakers. She always had a recipe book out and followed it to the teaspoon. Why mess with perfection? She's got shelves and shelves of recipe books. But there were those few recipe books, you know, the books with all of the old recipes. The recipes that have scratched notes in little old lady handwriting. Betty Crocker did it right, but Ma did it better. And in this rare collection of recipe books there is one book; a compilation of the really good recipes from her mother, sister's and other family relations. Each one of them picked a few time treasured recipes and added it to this book. I tried a lot of them, and never failed. Flavors and smells from the baking gods themselves. In all honesty this was a cook book from the heavens for someone like me. Someone that never really cooked or baked and someone that can't make anything from a box (curse you boxed brownie mixes). Would it have been awful to ask for this book in the divorce?

I was in the downy dumps. The divorce was real and my life was changed. I was sitting there looking over paperwork and it happened. I thought of the cook book and went looking for it. I ripped my whole kitchen apart. Most of the cook books were still there. (I hadn't checked when he came to get his stuff). Just not the one I was looking for. I texted my ex-husband after two months of separation, craving only one recipe from that delightful book. Banana bread. Three days later it was in my email. We joked, and I told him I would never ask for anything again as long as I could have that recipe. And I told him how much I would miss that wonderful little cook book.

From this book I learned that things are better made from scratch. Flour, sugar and shortening are amazing. Some of the best recipes are the simplest. This was a book that could curb any craving you had. Fruit Loop candy, meatloaf, crispy baked chicken, pancakes, upside down cake, fudge, toasted nut mixes are among the few. All of these recipes were made in a time when butter and milk were never questioned and that always makes some kind of nostalgia set in. Who doesn't love a Christmas ham? Packed with all things not good for you? I understand food isn't everything, but I do honestly believe there are memories made around it.

I want my children to remember their mother's baking. The taste, the smell, the sound of cracking eggs. Music blaring in the background, taste testing EVERYTHING and the warmness of making wonderful things together. And this is why I want to share a recipe I'm not supposed to share with all of you. For those of you starting new and for those of you just looking for a good recipe. That dearly missed little heavenly cook book holds the banana bread recipe of the century. Non fail, non miss, always good. Your bananas can be ripe or fresh. It calls for 6 bananas... I've made it with only 4. I've made it in glass bread dishes, metal bread pans, and even a cake pan. It's always moist, always happy. I've cooked it over 100 times now. It has never failed me. Hell, this banana bread recipe was the one comfort food that got me through my divorce. Who says ice cream should get all the attention when you are down (I admit, it's had a fair share of attention from me). Baking, Louis Armstrong, a house warm and toasty from the oven, the aroma of something sweet, these things can make you forget sadness for awhile. And sometimes that while is enough to help you move onto the next day.

So here it is. I was told never to share this recipe, mind you. It's a family secret. A thing to be passed down through generations. Well, the way I see it is probably better left unsaid. Life can toss us one way or the other and we learn from it. And sometimes in all that learning is some damn good food. Enjoy.

Banana Bread

2 cups of sugar

1 cup of shortening

2 cups of flour

1 tsp. salt

2 tsp. baking soda

6 bananas (mashed)

4 eggs (well beaten)

Preheat oven to 350.

Cream sugar and shortening with an electric beater. Add eggs (already well beaten) and bananas (already mashed). Mix flour, salt and baking soda together. Add to creamed banana mixture. Beat until well mixed. Bake in greased loaf pans (I use shortening to grease the pans and two pans). Bake at 350 for 50 minutes. When a knife inserted comes out clean it's done. Just another way to check if you'd like.

Please enjoy.